Follow @its_elz Instagram people what a bunch of bastards people what a bunch of bastards

shutupaubrey:

don’t buy me flowers what am i supposed to do with flowers instead buy me like half a pound of salami 

(via cottoneyedtoe)

tardis221b:

DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU’RE SCARED OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP

(via welcometotheintersection)

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

(via casucutie)